If you are a woman reading this, then you understand that it is our prerogative as members of the female sex, to change our mind often and for silly reasons.
That is precisely what happened with this blog.
The part below (in caps) is the original text that I drafted prior to taking pictures.
So let’s take this one step at a time, in the same order as my personal roller coaster ride of becoming a Hot (Tub) Mama…
Yes, I know it’s January which might seem a little early for a swimsuit post but here’s the deal you guys…
One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to conquer more fears.
Last year it was shorts. (See Long Story Short, I HATE shorts)
This year, it’s the dreaded swimsuit. And not just any swimsuit.
I found this little darlin’ online at Torrid and ordered it before I left for Florida. Turns out Florida was too cold to enjoy the water but I LOVED this two piece so I knew it would get plenty of use.
I decided that rather than wait to post about it in the summer, I would take some hot tub pics and….well, just get it over with.
That’s my thing with conquering fears. The longer I put it off, the harder it seems. I have found it’s best to, in the words of some genius Nike advertiser, JUST DO IT!
Would’ve been great if I could have posted the pics then and called it a day. But I couldn’t.
That’s the other thing about conquering fears. They’re called FEARS for a reason.
After reviewing the images by my hot tub, my emotional roller coaster went something like this:
OMG. I’m fatter than I realized. These are hideous. I can’t post them.
Yes you can, Amy. Be brave. Other women your size have done it. Besides, you only have like 50 something readers anyway.
No, I better not post them. The picture quality is so bad. There are weird shadows from the trees and I look like some small-time blogger because I’m standing in my own backyard.
HA! Don’t you love it when your brain starts making unrelated excuses for something when in reality you’re just plain SCARED.
So what changed my mind about posting the blog?
This morning, I woke up and got on Facebook to peruse my Faturday Night Live feed. As I was admiring the beautiful bloggers and models I follow, I had a thought.
I feel most confident and sure of myself and my size, when I’m “surrounded” by these other women. Why? Because they are like me.
They don’t have smooth thighs with a gap. They have visible belly outline and muffin tops. They have big arms and double chins and sometimes even cankles!
And I LOVE IT!
It reminds me that I’m not alone and I’m not weird or an outcast. Sure, maybe to mainstream media I am, but not to this group of gorgeous women. (Which, by the way is larger than you’d think. No pun intended!)
That’s when the light bulb appeared over my head. If I post my hot tub photos, maybe I can encourage other women just like I have been encouraged. After all, mainstream will always be mainstream until there are enough of us to change that.
Maybe it seems silly to some, but I’m just going to swallow my fear and consider this my small part in helping others see that in this world, it really does take all kinds.
And as an interesting last note…once I looked at these pictures through the lens of helping others rather than fear, I really did feel like a hot (tub) mama!!!
Love and Confidence,