Skinny Girls are NOT the Enemy

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I’ve been prone to extremes for as long as I can remember. It must be in my DNA.

Sometimes it works to my benefit, many times not.

I feel as though normal people (read non-extremist) can experience something good without going overboard.

For example, they enjoy a slice of cake but don’t feel the need to eat the entire thing in one sitting. Or they relish their trip to Thailand but that doesn’t mean they need to uproot their life to move there. Non-extremists can start a blog without becoming so obsessed that they lay awake at night thinking of topics they want to discuss and photos they want to take.

You get my point.

Hi, my name is Amy and I am an extremist.

My extremism (not sure that’s a word) got the better of me today. As I was catching up on some of the blogs I follow, I came across one that featured another fashion blogger, who I wasn’t familiar with. I clicked on the link, prepared to follow her as well but then I saw that she wasn’t a curvy girl like me, so I navigated off her page.

Don’t get me wrong here. It’s not like I made a face or spit at my screen but I did dismiss her…based solely on her size.

WHOA. Wait. What?!

Crapity Crap. I’m pretty sure that very thing has happened to me numerous times and, without exception, I have not liked the way it felt.

I gave myself a minute to let the reality that I’m a hypocrite sink in.

When did skinny girls become the enemy? When did I become so insecure that I couldn’t even entertain the thought of following a non-curvy fashion blogger?

That’s when I realized that once again, my all-or-nothing personality was the culprit. In my quest to become a plus-sized fashion blogger, I have surrounded myself with only plus-sized bloggers and people like me. I dove in head first, per usual, but without regard to maintaining balance or fairness. In fact, while I’m in confession mode, I’ll admit to mentally scoffing at one plus-sized blogger because I thought, you’re not really fat, you’re just not skinny.

Do you hate me yet? I might.

The danger with surrounding yourself with only one kind of anything is exactly this. All other things (people, places, etc.) eventually become outsiders and, if you’re not careful, enemies.

I’m still a little shocked at my behavior. I mean, I’m the girl who in real life has friends (and even family) from every walk of life. I used to think of acceptance and understanding as two of my greatest assets. And Lord knows, I have way more “skinny” friends than fat ones, and I love them all.

As I continue to work through my extremist behavior and this recent self-discovery, I would like to leave you with this thought….

Who or what are the enemies in your life? And are they really enemies or simply a projection of your own insecurities or short-comings?

 

 

 

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7 Comments

  1. My enemies are almost always projections of my fears, short-comings, and insecurities. Isn’t that how it works? It’s easier to turn those things into enemies and simply react negatively to them then give them the benefit of the doubt; to give them a chance. It’s simpler to just scoff and move on because then you don’t have to deal with your own problems. It’s their problem! They’re the enemy!

    Yeah, I can relate. I can be an extremist too at times, but what I’ve learned is self-awareness. Self-awareness is so important; turning your view inward. If you can catch yourself doing these negative things, then you can realign your way of thinking.

    Case and Point: Navigating off a thinner woman’s blog because she isn’t plus-sized. You realized that you were negatively judging her for her body size even though body acceptance is very important to you.

    Kudos to you! You were self-aware enough to recognize this bad pattern, and now all that’s left is to work on realigning your thoughts. We’re all not perfect, but the first step in being the person we want to be is to start being aware.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This post is so important. We talk a lot about sizeism on the internet but generally ignore people who shame skinny people. If the world was mean girls, I would bake the cake that made everyone happy.

    Like

  3. I think that we all think that we think too much. On a more serious note, I have a feeling that the majority of us plus-size ladies have battled with our weight and self-image for so long it becomes hard for us to emphasize with women who, to us, seem like they shouldn’t have a worry in the world. They after all have a cute figure, aren’t feeling shame every time they walk into a store only to walk out with nothing because nothing came in their size. I don’t think I’ve specifically skinny-shamed anyone, at least not out loud, outside my head. I know I have voiced my frustrations in my personal journal and will be using my blog as an outlet as well.

    What happens is that skinny women think their body image is just as hard to accept as a plus size woman. And that’s where the beef is because the majority of our society already accepts skinny, thin, what-have-you, bodies as that is what is considered already beautiful in our culture. A busty size 20 is not. There are a few (my hubby among them) that find women with more curves more attractive. That’s the battle we have, having to live/accept what society tells and how we feel about our own bodies at the same time.

    Like

  4. Your post really gave me food for thought (pun intended). But really, it came along just when I was questioning my tendency to form a snap-judgement about someone for whatever reason, and a little of that comes from my late father, but I must own it as well. Just the other day an old school acquaintance on FB almost denied my friend request because he figured that since “you are an artist, you must be a liberal”, and he cannot abide liberals, and “we have nothing in common”. At first I was angry until I realized I am just as quick to judge. There’s a lot in the media today to give us pause about our tolerance levels. I am saddened when plus size folks are called out for buying so much fattening food, when often, it is all they can afford.

    Like

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