I’ve been prone to extremes for as long as I can remember. It must be in my DNA.
Sometimes it works to my benefit, many times not.
I feel as though normal people (read non-extremist) can experience something good without going overboard.
For example, they enjoy a slice of cake but don’t feel the need to eat the entire thing in one sitting. Or they relish their trip to Thailand but that doesn’t mean they need to uproot their life to move there. Non-extremists can start a blog without becoming so obsessed that they lay awake at night thinking of topics they want to discuss and photos they want to take.
You get my point.
Hi, my name is Amy and I am an extremist.
My extremism (not sure that’s a word) got the better of me today. As I was catching up on some of the blogs I follow, I came across one that featured another fashion blogger, who I wasn’t familiar with. I clicked on the link, prepared to follow her as well but then I saw that she wasn’t a curvy girl like me, so I navigated off her page.
Don’t get me wrong here. It’s not like I made a face or spit at my screen but I did dismiss her…based solely on her size.
WHOA. Wait. What?!
Crapity Crap. I’m pretty sure that very thing has happened to me numerous times and, without exception, I have not liked the way it felt.
I gave myself a minute to let the reality that I’m a hypocrite sink in.
When did skinny girls become the enemy? When did I become so insecure that I couldn’t even entertain the thought of following a non-curvy fashion blogger?
That’s when I realized that once again, my all-or-nothing personality was the culprit. In my quest to become a plus-sized fashion blogger, I have surrounded myself with only plus-sized bloggers and people like me. I dove in head first, per usual, but without regard to maintaining balance or fairness. In fact, while I’m in confession mode, I’ll admit to mentally scoffing at one plus-sized blogger because I thought, you’re not really fat, you’re just not skinny.
Do you hate me yet? I might.
The danger with surrounding yourself with only one kind of anything is exactly this. All other things (people, places, etc.) eventually become outsiders and, if you’re not careful, enemies.
I’m still a little shocked at my behavior. I mean, I’m the girl who in real life has friends (and even family) from every walk of life. I used to think of acceptance and understanding as two of my greatest assets. And Lord knows, I have way more “skinny” friends than fat ones, and I love them all.
As I continue to work through my extremist behavior and this recent self-discovery, I would like to leave you with this thought….
Who or what are the enemies in your life? And are they really enemies or simply a projection of your own insecurities or short-comings?